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Pages: When do you it Quits? [1]
Author Topic: When do you it Quits?
hensler

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Posts: 37

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2015-06-15 5-32-52-

When do you it Quits? What are the signs? (Aside from the obvious: he said its over, you find evidence of cheating, or he turns out to be gay)
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paulhus

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Posts: 29

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2015-06-18 20-39-50

A little more detail, please maybe it's not a communication issue, so much as a taboo subject of conversation... or even yes, incompatability.
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  • hearst

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    Posts: 30

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    2015-07-14 23-02-49

    Background Info Yesterday he mentioned that we could do whatever...so a few friends asked us to hang out. I asked if he was interested he said "no." Okay fine, but the fact that we haven't done much of anything new or different for the past x months has driven me insane....its the same routine (dinner-same restaurants and a movie - same theatre). If i suggest something new, like comedy, a play, a new restaurant, something on a small scale of real women in fredericksburg nude ( women looking for sex in wv picking), he turns it down....I've compromised a lot, but yesterday I snapped (I now hate Olive Garden)... I told him straight forwardly that I want to do more, even if its just try a different restaurant! Him being non-confrontational, shut-down...then we ed it a night and he went home. I believe a tidbit in zodiac signs and he's a women looking for sex in kc and I'm a Sagitarius...well, our stars aren't aligning.
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  • sherman

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    Posts: 74

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    2015-08-24 10-17-23

    Yeahhhh about the stars not aligning sorry, I don't believe in that stuff and I doubt it has anything to do with the actual problem. It sounds to me like he has found a comfort zone and doesn't want to step out of that. But I think that you letting this happen over and over for x months has a lot to do with his unwillingness to try new things. I'm really not sure how to help you. I myself have had to twist my bf's arm a few times just to get him out of the house. He's had fun, he admits, and he even admitted to meday that he is secretly happy I make him do things. But he would never initially come up with a spontaneous idea. I usually do that and he follows, or I bug him until he does, and we end up enjoying ourselves. But I can relate... nowants to be a nag or have to twist anyone's arm to do something that will ultimately prove itself to be enjoyable. Have you tried talking to him before snapping? Maybe try 'surprising' him with reservations at a different place, and get advance tickets for an even, or a movie at a different mature women looking for fuck buddy . I had to use a little white lie with my bf. I told him my boss had given me a gift cedrtificate for movie tickets and that it had to be used by the end of the week or it would expire... and him not wanting to let it go to waste, agreed to go to the sexual message chula vista and we had an awesome day together... and I shall take that to my grave, because although it is a white lie, I feel terrible about it to this day, lol.
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    diercks

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    Posts: 31

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    2015-08-26 4-30-57-

    Actually.... I never thought of nagging. I'm very adult massage chesterfield -nag...but it sounds like I have to put that in motion. When I snapped last night, he'd never seen that part of me. The only thing we have said to each other today was "goodmorning." And you are sooooo right Complex, when I planned a day out for us downtown and we went to a street fair, ate bbq on the sidewalk, had him take public transpo for the first time ever...he had a really good time. I just dont understand why its so freakin hard to get them to do fun things! I think it was wrong for me to snap, but if I ate another piece of pasta and saw another new feature fuck women tonight for free ...I really thought I was going to loose my forever lovin' mind! You response has really helped...but now how do I initiate conversation again?
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  • hearst

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    Posts: 46

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    2015-08-28 0-12-25-

    I would order a pizza and rent a movie maybe even open a bottle of wine and him, tell him "I ordered this huge pizza, I've got wine and this movie seems good... and I thought maybe you'd like to join me and have a good time together. How about it?" I usually start conversation after an argument by texting him "I cooked too much again. You know I can never cook for Join me?" and most of the time he does, unless his lawyerness prevents him from doing so, lol. Get creative, give it a try.
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  • Edin

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    2015-09-07 13-32-28

    His Response: I dont know wasnt planning on doing anything tonight....that makes me want to retract being the communicaful (made the word up, I think)....I mean...ugggh!
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    rion

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    2015-10-07 4-20-51-

    I agree.... I told him if he changes his mind to let me know. I'm not in the mood to beg and plead. I'm going to watch Testees and eat the pizza my damn self!
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  • flexer

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    2015-10-07 23-30-21

    your plan? Your bf is my ex right? :) What kind of work does he do? Some people with a stressful job prefer very simple familiar boring things to do on weekends. Or he's just the type who is not comfortable with new things and takes longer to warm up to any idea? After you told him straight, has youmade a plan how to compromise, e.g. trying new things once a month or some frequency that you both feel comfortable with? In my case, in the end, inaction and this difference is not the only problem, but he's viewed me as the badwho wants to do things - anything is a problem, even taking a walk. I was so busy defending myself, I lost the ability to cope... Hope things will work out for you.
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    segal

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    2015-10-31 3-08-00-

    Hi Morning Actually, he has a very stressful job and he likes what he does with me to be very simple and easy. I guess I never looked at it from that fucking in kandiyohi , however, I still don't want to sacrifice my entire happiness just to appease him...I feel like there should definitely some give and take. The result of that "conflict" was that he said he would "try." I guess thats good...better seen then said, I believe. Are you still with your SO?
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    blyth

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    2015-11-28 9-02-30-

    Make a plan I suggest you make a concrete plan of the frequency of actions, or else you'd feel too little and he'd feel your request is overwhelming. Are you in your xs or xs? Watch closely and see if you both are able to compromise of the things you both want to do - same things vs new things, adventure vs stability, how often, how much you can compromise. Make it very clear what you want, but don't overwhelm a person like him with too many things at the same time (you'll eventually get what you want). If he can do something new with you or "initiate" something once a month (instead of every week as you may prefer) then take that first. Some people are totally clueless of what to do or what they like, as they feel bland the same way about everything. Think deeply how much you want & love this person, compared to how much he'd try & how much you can tolerate.day you'll know the answer. He's not going to change much & may get more passive with age. Now thinking back the way you describe him, for example, whenever you go to the same restaurant or being at home together, does he look happy, and talk enough? If yes, I wonder if he thinks the action is in the talk, not where you meet, & can't understand the fuss about a new place, for every place looks the same to him! If he hardly talks, then something else might be happening... My SO and I are no longer together, but we still do things together. After all the years when I started to get used to the way he is & found a way to compromise, he's started to find faults with my way, the way I want to see the world, to do different things (very mild, not even adventureous)...If we talked about this difference early on and do something about it, maybe we'd still be together. We did not and the difference turned into something else & we thought we were fighting about those other things...
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    matkins

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    Posts: 54

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    2016-01-02 18-16-29

    Looking at this relationship through a marriage scope. I believe on working on us. I believe that things aren't perfect and I can't just give up, so I for the first time started treating this relationship like a marriage...something you just dont walk away from when you are pissed or too tired. I'm x, he's x. So there is an age difference, which might be the reason why he is more passive then me. He's kind of done it all- sky diving, motorcycles, clubs, etc. And I'm just getting there, however, those are the things that I want to experience with him per se.... I'd be completely open to tryingnew restaurant per month! And I think you hit it fuck local women free on the women looking for sex in lakeview oregon when you said: "Some people are totally clueless of what to do or what they like, as they feel bland the same way about everything." I don't think he knows how much fun I can be or we can be! I do really want to be with him. I want to make him happy and start a family with him. And he's always been a quiet guy, so he says, so I knew that from the beginning, however as I got to like him more...I wanted more conversation! I've had to get use to having quiet meals...I'm so vocal...I talk about everything! He's more of a listner,however, I like reciprocity. I'm going to try, but I'm not going to try and shove a size x foot into a size x, if its not going to work, then I'm going to promise myself that I will recognize it and bow out. Even though I'm in my early xs I've burnt out on dating. I like stable relationships, with no amateur dating and guessing.... And its good to hear that both of you could still be friends MorningGlory (fyi, i really like your handle). I think a plan is appropriate. I will suggest that.
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    hiroshi

    Sexy
    Posts: 58

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    2016-03-23 16-04-41

    Morning... I'm worried to honestly. Its just like you say about your ex. I thought he was worldly, loved to do new and exciting things, had sex free dating /zest for life, but I'm gradually being proven wrong and there are moments where I can tolerate it and others where I think...OMG, this is it! He keeps telling me to be patient because he intends on retiring in x years, but I don't think I can or anyone should wait that long. I've thought about the whole just doing my own thing, experiencing the world alone, but then I question...what's the point of having a significant other? When I think about it, I sometimes realize there may be more reasons to leave the relationship then to stay in it... I think I remember you MorningGlory right before I left the forum, you left a really nice message for me. Not sure if I ever said thank, but...Thank you :)
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