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Pages: Submissive who needs to learn [1]
Author Topic: Submissive who needs to learn

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2011-02-08 5-01-42-

Submissive who needs to learn This may not be the most effective place to post such an ad, but I figured it may be worth a shot. I am currently involved in a D/s situation (where I am the submissive – I am single he is married). This Dom has slowly become more and more intense with our sessions in a good way, but physiy intense nonetheless. There are areas of focus which center around the breasts, ass and physical posture. What I am trying to find out is what it is that is enjoyable for a Dom in torturing these particular areas of the body – what is the high? How much of a turnoff is it when I am unable to handle the level of pain? I know what it is from my side, I can understand that sub-space, but in order to become a more “worthy” submissive, I need to figure out how to be better for him. If anyone is open to discussing this topic – I would love to hear from you. I can share more details so that we can have a more open discussion.
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Full Member
Posts: 2

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2011-02-10 11-34-52

does his wife know about the of you?
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Sr. Member
Posts: 3

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2011-02-11 5-33-20-

Who Cares?
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Posts: 4

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2011-02-11 13-35-27

Maybe his wife....?
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Posts: 4

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2011-02-13 1-47-18-

Speaking as a dom, I can tell you that we are all different. Some require their subs to tolerate more pain and more complicated scenes than others. You as a sub, need to communicate if the pain level is beyond your tolerance level. If this man is a good dom, he will respect your honesty and keep the sessions at a level you can handle. Now, there are doms out there who don't respect their subs. They don't care if the pain level is too much or the session is no longer acceptable. While doms get pleasure out of the inflicting of pain or torture, or by the control of a situation or scene, they also have the responsibility of taking care of their sub. If your dom is unwilling to listen to your concerns you may need to leave him and find a dom you can communicate with.
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Posts: 1

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2011-02-16 0-35-25-

Testing Limits Thank you illnevertell for your response - He does not overstep his space, he has been extremely patient and moves at my pace. When i have been unable to continue a scene, he always stops and has offered comfort. The problem that i am having is i want to take it to new levels. I want to give more, but I am not sure - truth is i am not a pain slut - so there will always have to be limits. Not sure if this makes sense.
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  • lisiecki

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    2011-02-20 15-50-48

    It makes complete sense. You can't handle what you can't handle. You may have to just face the possibility you have a pain threshold that cannot be expanded. Accepting this for the moment, there are any number of new aspects that can be incorporated that don't involve an increase in the pain level. New bondage postions or materials, humiliation, different ways of inflicting pain without increasing the level. Candle wax, different paddles, sensory depravation, piercing, electric shock (tens units or similar) new sex toys, plucking, branding, cutting. There are so many options. Experiment, suggest, research, enjoy!
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  • starmer

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    Posts: 6

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    2011-03-16 3-19-49-

    experimenting We are incorporating aspects that are not just focused on pain, the only problem is – if I am bound in a way that my legs are spread so far and I am almost squatting while a scene is going on – that is extremely painful in itself and there have been times where I have had to stop the scene to re-gain my composure. Some of the posture scenes are just as bad as the breast torture. Truth is I like it all – I just want to be better at it is all. I appreciate your advice – hence my going to others to help find new ways to make this better – I want to keep learning, experimenting and having lots of fun :-)
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    Full Member
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    2011-04-27 3-19-57-

    Ahhh, well there you may benefit from taking some dance classes or going to a gym. Dance classes will increase your flexablity and endurance. The gym will build up the muscles you need to hold the poses you get into. It sounds funny to think about training to have sex, but if it works it works!
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    Full Member
    Posts: 4

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    2011-07-03 22-56-31

    dance classes this is actually intersting - never thought of that. I am willing to do what it takes. I enjoy this and want it to flow - and i want to keep trying new things without his fearing that i wont be able to follow through.
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    Sr. Member
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    2011-07-11 23-44-05

    this is not my topic i am not talking about his wife knowing - Nor do i care - I am not stealing him, i do not want a part of his private life and because he is actually able to act out this side of his life - He can no have this with her - and it is what it is.
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    Posts: 13

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    2011-07-30 17-48-30

    how can you say you're not stealing him? you were the who mentioned he was married...it's clearly important to you you are stealing his affection. do you think that of his pleasures might be the humiliating role you are playing in his domestic affairs?
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 26

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    2011-08-28 3-10-23-

    stealing - not stealing - you have your own view I mentioned it because it has a dynamic – he is someone who will go after what pleases him regardless- with me or someone else, it does not matter. I am not stealing his affection – there is no love – there is no commitment – there is just an understanding – we are both their to fulfill our own need that can not be done without a partner. I can not bring myself into that submissive state that I crave so dearly – and he can not bring himself into that Dom space, so we both serve a need and that is where it ends. (just for the record- in x+ years that I have been doing this – I have not had intercourse – nor do I intend to – this is about the mind and body in regards to D/s – this is not a fling for love and stealing. Sorry if you don’t agree, but I this is off my original topic –
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    Hero Member
    Posts: 15

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    2011-09-09 19-41-45

    Minus x for being with a dom who is (from what you've said) cheating on his wife. How safe can you possibly feel with a man like this? How can you trust him with your mind and body. *SQUICK*
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    Posts: 17

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    2011-11-06 6-21-35-

    Grow the fuck up! You're with a married man who's wife doesn't know he's cheating on her. There is nothing honorable, decent, or even remotely sane about what you are doing. You're trusting a man who has already proven a propensity to lie and cheat to someone he supposedely loves. Are you fucking insane? How can you trust someone, with your life and health, if he's already a proven liar. Grow up. There a plenty of Doms out there without wives, or with wives that allow them to play. Find of those, and ignore all Doms whose wives don't allow them to play, or who are too fucking cowardly to dicuss their kinky needs with thier wives and get permission to play. FUCK, this shit pisses me off.
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  • leticia

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    2011-12-27 5-13-35-

    what pleases dom/me, may not please another Some like to hear screams, other whimpers. MsP likes gasping garbled half-words. You really need to ask him these things. And chances are, he will not tell you. My experience is that the thing all dom/mes dislike is theatrical responses, intended to impress them.
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  • Fima

    Posts: 29

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    2012-01-17 13-18-54

    (pulls hair - HARD) Who told you what MzP likes?
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    Posts: 32

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    2012-03-26 2-32-27-

    OW! ! you did ma'am. In a thread a couple years ago. I just happen to remember things you say.
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  • heiberger

    Posts: 22

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    2012-07-05 0-58-06-

    OWW!!! Life is dealing me just the right combination of kindness and cruelty - the way I like it. And you, ma'am? Hope you are well. *tries to smile, wincing*
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  • perea

    Hero Member
    Posts: 42

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    2012-09-07 13-20-36

    (twists hair just enough... to get your head into that really uncomfortable angle. And keep it there.) Oh, the usual drama. And a few new ones. Care for an oatmeal cookie? Oooops, I dropped it - just out of your reach...
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  • clasen

    Posts: 19

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    2012-11-11 4-22-18-

    what pleasesDom- may I am not looking for theatrical responses – what I am hoping to learn is how to pay better attention – how to learn to stand still better, or to not whimper when my breast is being slapped – how to stay focused more. I really enjoy this lifestyle, but it is still new – I want to be better at it! I want to make him enter his Dom space – rather than worry or listening to whining, or maybe he likes that to a certain extent. I am just trying to get a better feel from “real’ Doms.
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  • bleck

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    2012-11-29 13-13-57

    Theatrical responses? Your attitude bugs me. I'm done wasting my time on your posts.
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    Posts: 4

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    2012-12-16 23-04-46

    submissive Maybe you should flip roles? It might make u understand better. I am willing to bet this guy has a job where he is not a boss or a manager
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 35

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    2013-02-02 18-33-56

    submissive he is not only a boss and a manager - he would never flip roles. He knows what he is - and i actually would not want to be in control - it would ruin the dynamic
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    2015-07-03 11-45-04

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