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nuzzi

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2011-02-08 12-36-48

People blow my other half was at work the other day and her colleagues are a bunch of straight women yapping about stupid things, and was talking about her son and how much stupid crap he does. another lady asked whats the worst thing a kid can say to their parent. the lady answered if the says they are gay, and they all laughed saying yeah that would be horrible. my partner was zip lipped but what would you do in that situation?
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lagana

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2011-02-11 1-28-26-

yeah but, need to keep job. rat race
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mcferran

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2011-02-11 10-28-39

I realize it's uncomfortable, but telling one's coworker's "That remark really hurts my feelings. And here's why..." can't get you fired.
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  • Remington

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    2011-02-12 20-37-20

    (And if she -could- get fired for that, then I'd have to question whether the job is worth it. I know the answer in my case, but everyone has different dealbreakers I suppose.)
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    Arnie

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    2011-02-12 22-29-20

    depends on the state and size of the company. In Texas, for one, you can be fired for being gay.
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    dura

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    2011-02-16 0-35-26-

    True... But then people begin to judge your every move because you defend being gay.... just like Sodie's post.
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    Irina

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    2011-02-20 23-43-19

    Again, I wouldn't make that compromise. But everyone's different.
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  • daddario

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    2011-02-22 6-13-58-

    If i had the money.... to support my partner and I, i would say to walk in naked with a rainbow painted on and say gimmie the loot. lol
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    delfino

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    2011-02-26 5-13-39-

    That is dissrimination if they fire you because you are gay...20 percent of mu employees including me are bisexual or lesbian or gat males...and they are all respected...because of that you are not allowed to have coverstaions like that...because everyone is the way they are because they want to be and if it is insulting or involves them you could get fired
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    Alev

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    2011-02-26 7-23-29-

    Yes it is But it still happens. It is still a real concern for people. And you have no idea how it might affect you in subtle ways... raises, promotions, transfers, being labelled as a trouble maker. Just because something is against the law, doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. If your company has an Ombudsperson or an AA/EEOC officer a good question to ask yourself is who pays their paycheck?
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    dejonge

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    2011-03-23 18-05-07

    I would have said "Really? Being gay is the worst thing you could hear from your ? You would rather they be a racist, rapist, low life or anything else as long as they're not gay? Good thing you have your standards!"
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    odessa

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    2011-04-10 14-25-11

    Good See, WISMO, there are MANY different ways to express displeasure. Your GF doesn't have to make a speech or point her finger at them. The important things is to not meet such remarks - whether it's about blacks or gay people or the disabled or, hell, anyone - with silence. Why should her coworkers get to enjoy their first amendment rights, and in so doing create a hostile workplace, but not your girlfriend? If there's really -that- kind of double-standard, then that company isn't worth supporting with her labor, time and silence.
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    cousens

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    2011-04-12 4-12-00-

    I agree with you... I mean a rapist or racist or murderer is bad...
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  • claudius

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    2011-06-27 5-08-05-

    bad news your has stage x cancer but the good news is, he/she is not gay.
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    pardon

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    2011-07-05 5-07-47-

    ask questions Countering with defensive tactics makes uninformed people more stubborn. And feeling defeated and walking away is demoralizing. Ask questions with a sincere intention of understanding. (That last bit is a challenge.) "Oh, really? Why would that be the worst thing? They answer. You ask another question and let them reply. Usually, they end up in a place where they realize there's no sound basis for their prejudice. It changes their flippant "joke" into an intellectual discourse and they realize they're being bigoted and mean. If they reach that point, you can share knowledge about things they haven't thought about. They'll feel vulnerable, but by being earnest and seeking to understand, you create a situation where they can hopefully open up and learn. Well...it could happen. I'd hope the workplace is a safe place and there'd be support from leadership to address exclusionary comments/behavior. Sounds like a company-sponsored workshop is in order. If the place isn't safe, I wouldn't let job scarcity get in the way of my getting outta there.
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  • heiny

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    2011-08-10 0-19-07-

    in work situations most people don't want to be antagonistic. That everyone else responded by laughing to the homophobic comment doesn't necessarily mean that they share that view,each person may not have wanted to be the that stood up and opposed it. There may have been others there who shared your partner's disgust at what was said but didn't want to be isolated. Maybe next time,if she speaks up,there will be others who will also back her. People who make hateful comments are bullies who rule by intimidation
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  • lion

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    2011-09-17 22-56-22

    very good point There are some things I do not speak up about with coworkers that i would totally speak up about with anyone and everyone else. Breeding one's pets, for example. Just b/c I say "Huh! Cute!" when I am shown a picture of the newborn pups does not mean I am not seething inside.
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  • feith

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    2011-11-11 11-39-41

    If she does not want to come out I would repond like this, I must say I do not see being gay as a bad thing. Some of my best friends are gay and they are so much more excepting of people who are different. Personally I would think having a say, I killed someone, I do drugs, or I am going to jail would be much worst than I am attracted to people of the same gender. Personally I just would want my kid happy. Reality check!!!!
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    decaire

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    2011-12-25 6-41-35-

    I would have told them it was offensive and that there are FAR worse things a kid could say. I mean, come on. It's the xst century. As far as keeping my job? TRY and fire me for being gay and pointing out a homophobic remark. I am the last person to be lawsuit happy, but sometimes a fight is worth fighting.
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    knouse

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    2012-02-20 17-36-52

    And you don't ahve to come out to point out homophobia. A co-worker made an anti-semetic remark once. I ed them out on it. I am not Jewish. Another time it was a racial slur. Again, I ed them out. I am not middle eastern. I AM gay, but that doesn't really have anything to do with why I'd find that comment offensive.
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  • belles

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    2015-06-30 15-27-28

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    parrinello

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