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Pages: Alright, this is a gay poll... [1]
Author Topic: Alright, this is a gay poll...
daebum

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2011-08-10 11-17-37

Alright, this is a gay poll... What determines when you will say "i love you" to the person you're dating - is it something you base on time spent together, experiences shared, how much you enjoy a person's company and/or their looks...? Also, what was the shortest time you've gone out with someone and said "i love you" - and what was the longest you've waited to say it?
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Esko

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Posts: 14

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2011-09-11 22-01-57

The worst is when they say it and you're not ready for it so you end up saying something like " Uh, thanks."
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file

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2011-11-08 14-18-33

yeah, been there done that. my new response is silence. People often seem to take 'uh... thanks.' as an insult of some kind. My all-time best though was when an ex showed up on my doorstep and xam to tell me how lonely she was, etc etc, why won't i date her just because she cheated on me with a guy and decided she was straight and such, etc. So we're sitting there for a while, and she says, 'i love you.' and i say, 'i'm sorry.' kinda ended the conversation.
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  • miramontes

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    2011-12-25 11-43-57

    I say it when I can't stand not saying it usually after x-x months of fairly serious dating
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    montee

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    2012-01-07 17-22-42

    my take on it... granted, I don't have a LOT of dating experience... I base it on how much that person makes me feel good about myself, helps me with my problems and shares my happiness & sorrow...also, by how much I know & accept (and even find endearing) their faults. altho I don't put a timeframe on it, i like to wait quite awhile (a few months, at least) before I say it... because sometimes it takes awhile to learn about a person's good & bad parts, and I can't say "I love you" to someone without knowing at least a good deal about them at their best and worst. I've only said it to person, and we said it about three months into our relationship. it ended x months later. but this was a high school relationship, so I guess it doesn't really count.
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    2012-02-20 18-59-11

    I love you Gertie
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    kagan

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    2012-03-08 1-48-42-

    hahahahahahahahah
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    wims

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    2012-05-11 4-38-17-

    HAHA. fucking fantastic!! and so true...
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  • marley

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    2012-08-15 14-01-07

    no, dude... seriously, if she did say it to me, I think I'd dump her on the spot. just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.
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  • hypolite

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    2012-10-29 18-04-15

    this poll is gay. i am sick and throw-uppish. i've only said it topeople. after a couple months, i guess. for me, it had nothing to do with being with them, just really digging them as a person. i still do. i personally don't feel any pressure about the "i love you" thing. i don't think it commits people to anything. sometimes you feel like you love someone so you say it. then you don't love them anymore. it's cool. whatever. give someoneof your organs, that's love. i would like a new stomach at the moment. thank you.
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  • Wenonah

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    2012-12-17 5-41-54-

    i'd give you mine because i love you but i don't think you'd want it, it's pretty fucked up
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    matulich

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    2013-02-03 5-21-08-

    if anyone's got a spare set of working lungs i'd be interested in that kind of love...
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  • packard

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    2013-02-04 9-04-10-

    Gay I don't know. I used to think you really had to get to know someone and all that stuff before you could really be "in love" with them... thus it was probably a couple of months before I'd say I love you if I felt it... but recently my opinion of this all has changed and I'm being totally ridiculous and crazy with my feelings and letting myself feel whatever it is I'm feeling ... and I love it
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    vaught

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    2013-03-17 13-42-33

    I make a distinction between... being "in love" with someone and "loving" some... I've fallen in love with people at the drop of a hat, and I could see saying "I love you" to them. but then the crush subsides, and sometimes the love goes with it... anyway, some people take those three words so seriously, like it's almost proclaiming engagement. barf.
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  • Payroll

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    Posts: 35

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    2013-03-28 5-49-42-

    no, I mean, I do take it seriously and if I thought it was just a crush I wouldn't say it I know what you mean
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  • sipes

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    2013-04-01 1-21-37-

    aww, fancy, you are so cute! i want smooch you on the cheek - muah! (i heart love)
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  • claypoole

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    2013-05-27 12-31-32

    yea! love.
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    backus

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    2013-06-27 19-59-50

    my criteria for it x) dating "seriously" (what an unfortunate turn of phrase) for at least a couple of months x) we've worked out sexual compatibility. Like I could imagine fucking her and her alone for the next decade at least x) she's been paraded in front of at least a half a dozen of my close friends and doesn't give ANY of them cause for concern x) I actually do "love" her x) and like Irie said, I can't stand the idea of not telling her But, from my perspective, there's no reason to rush and plenty of reasons to not go there until x% certainty is felt.
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    Karol

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    2013-10-02 12-52-18

    say i like you for at least a year the other implies a committment and thats an onion that needs to be held back til you uncover their hidden craziness which takes a year, minimum. as per advice from my yoga teacher. all aside, i love you very much gert
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    vivie

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    2013-10-08 3-18-13-

    eh - those phrases bug me i'd rather someone just left the L word completely out if it, rather than saying that wishy-washy stuff. i think it's best to stick with simple declaratives - "you are so fucking hot!" "i have so much fun on dates with you!" "you are the smartest, cutest, bestest, most super fantastic babe in the world!" "every time i see you i just want to rip your clothes off!" stuff like that :-)
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    Hoa-Van

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    2013-10-28 7-25-47-

    I'm not sure what's wishy-washy... ...about "I love spending time with you." if it's an honest reflection of your feelings. And it would in no way exclude other comments like, "You're so hot I'd like to fuck you across the bed and onto the floor!"
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    correll

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    2013-11-11 19-39-29

    to do it right, though, you have to say 'i love... [pause for effect] spending time with you.' just to see if they do that lean in, waiting-for-it thing.
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  • slaton

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    2013-11-26 6-49-44-

    well, I'm with HBI on this one people have "selective hearing" and are prone to hear "I love you" when you say "I love (spending time with) you." So, this may cause problems that will require "lesbian processing" to fix. Lesbian processing can suck my dick.
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    shady

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    2013-12-07 4-03-29-

    Ah, but the thing is...it may cause... "them" problems. Not my problem. Which, if they start processing becomes a flag, as opposed to a problem, and then...I can decide what to do with that. It's funny, because I'm pretty forthright about telling people positive things I feel without concern for consequences. So people get funny about going up to a beautiful woman and saying, "You are gorgeous!" because that woman might think they were hitting on them, or were in a different league, etc...but if I feel like I want to say something nice/positive to someone I will. I can not control their thought process. And it always makes me laugh how shocked and pleased people are with that type of honesty.
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  • Gnni

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    2013-12-13 22-36-24

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  • turnbull

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    2013-12-19 15-11-20

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  • cravens

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    2013-12-21 9-29-30-

    but why would you purposely say something to someone you're dating that would cause "them" problems? i think that's why gertie brought this topic up - when and how is it healthy/reasonable/appropriate to spring the "i love you" on someone without messing everything up?
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    isabel

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    2013-12-25 11-11-51

    Because that would not be the... ...purpose. The purpose is expressing how you feel. Their interpretation on that is not something I'd be liable for. I think that people tend to slide away from that personal accountability a bit much. If my saying, "I love the way you make me feel." made them think that I was in love with them - I believe it's their responsbility to check in and validate that. So if they responded, "Are you saying you love me?" I'd say, "I love the way you make me feel and that's not the same as being IN love but it's early days yet." I mean, at that stage you may not know if you're "in love" with them, but you might'nt have excluded the possibility yet either. For me, it's all about honesty. Telling the truth easy or hard is the most important part.
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    2013-12-28 13-54-39

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