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Pages: long distance relationships? [1]
Author Topic: Long distance relationships?
mame

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2011-02-08 6-52-35-

long distance relationships? How do you handle it? We've been doing it successfully for several months because she only lives an hour and a half away. Up to now we've been seeing each other roughly once during the week and on weekends. Her schedule has changed and beginning this weekend we're only going to see each other from Friday night to Sunday morning. When we talk on the phone, I am sad and emotional and it's bringing us both down. I don't know what to do... or rather, there is nothing that can be done and I'm fighting a losing battle over that I tend to do black-and-white, all-or-nothing kind of thinking, unfortunately, so my "solution" is that we break up for the next 8 weeks. Lame, I know. Anyone have any better advice? Phone s and text messages are fine for what they're worth, but what do you do when your desire to see/ hear/ smell/ touch is overwhelming?
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rudich

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-10 14-49-08

that's cold. break up for 8 weeks? You aren't very committed to this relationship, are you? I have never understood that mindset. But, yeah, if you need someone who is available 24/7, you should be with someone who lives close. It seems like you aren't very in love with this person specifiy, but more the idea of having a warm body which you can "see/ hear/ smell/ touch" whenever you want. I feel bad for your girlfriend b/c that isn't love and it's insulting.
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ochina

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2011-02-10 15-51-54

you know nothing about me or how committed I am to this relationship. That was not the question. I am asking for ADVICE on how to handle a difficult situation, not an opinion on the state of my relationship.
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kesling

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2011-02-12 10-02-48

ok. advice: if you are committed to the relationship, hunker down for 8 weeks and make the sacrifice of seeing her only once a week. Were you planning to date others for those 8 weeks or what?
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ronquillo

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2011-02-12 11-52-17

If the relationship is worth it to you then you won't break up... every weekend is not good enough for you... When I lived with my ex we would only see each other 1 nite a week because she work 3rd shift and I worked 1st... our relationship would have been so much better if I would have had that time with her... I know sometimes a "whole week" can seem like forever but absence makes the heart grow fonder if it's real love between the of you then you'll make it work. And to your other post in the parent forum... I have a 9yr old who climbs in my bed every once in while and crashes... usually on the weekends... when your a single parent and you are all your has at home that bond to the parent is usually very strong. That nite you stayed the nite over there... You said she slept half the nite with him and then the other half with you... Well I know when I lay down with my if they are sad, confused, lonely etc sometimes I fall asleep waiting for him to fall asleep and when I wake up I go to my bed... There is nothing wrong with it and it's NOT illegal... If he was 13 or 14 then I'd worry.
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seide

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2011-02-15 4-04-51-

Yeah I read them... they were a psyco crowd and the discriminatory comments just made me want to vomit!
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linley

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2011-02-15 6-15-39-

kind, honest and thoughtful post nice.
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howsare

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2011-02-27 0-21-07-

Awwwe thanks BB that means allot to me comin from you ;0)
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pomerleau

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2011-03-30 9-05-23-

that may very well be true but it's all relative, isn't it? My reality is my reality, regardless of the distance. Suffice it to say that I couldn't even consider being in a relationship with someone that is truly long distance.
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Payroll

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2011-06-04 19-51-08

OK but you still haven't answered the question which was asked right out by silly and also by ODTM... why the x weeks... is there someone else your intrested in or what?
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galvez

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2011-07-23 4-03-10-

I got the impression that the schedule change was for just the x weeks. Is that right Sofiesmom?
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  • ulicny

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    2011-07-31 9-06-29-

    did you ever think her handle came from a pet, say like rosaleesmom? humm
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    Arleyne

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    2011-08-04 5-01-32-

    clearly I'm in the wrong forum. No, I do not want an x-week break... that is NOT the point and if any of you would read between the lines of my original post you would clearly see that my all-or-nothing, black-or-white thinking is a result of a deeply rooted issue, not just some random comment that I made in order to get a x-month reprieve from my relationship.
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  • lango

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    2011-08-04 23-05-35

    No, you just need to change your meds.
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  • hossler

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    2011-09-01 8-27-39-

    dude wtf that is some bull she came here for advice and you attack her with this crap. Maybe you should take some Valium and relax a bit.
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    appleyard

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    2011-10-17 23-36-02

    we're not your therapist Sounds like you should forego dating and relationships until you get some therapy to deal with this deeply-rooted issue. Abandonment issues? Intimacy issues? Past abuse? Yep, we've all got those and more. Get into therapy and deal with it.
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    whitney

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    2011-12-15 15-54-49

    I asked you what the point was and you didn't answer. My questions were real. I was trying to understand why x weeks and what you thought that would accomplish. Don't blame others for making guesses when you didn't answer the questions I asked and onedashTM asked.
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  • leana

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    2011-12-25 23-10-42

    Well she can't give you all right now and your selfish for wanting so... thinking black and white... you need to be understanding and deal the next x weeks or take that break but remember there are always consequences to your actions... and if you break up she may resent you for it. It's either take what she can give you or have NOTHING at all. Which do you prefer?
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    quiram

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    2012-02-10 13-31-53

    I cannot believe That you want to break up with someone for x weeks because you can only seem them every Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday day. Are you freakin kidding me. Some of us lead extremely busy lives and we don't even have that kind of time each week to spend with someone who lives in the same city as we do. Enjoy your time together on the weekend and get something else in your life that you enjoy doing without her for the rest of the week. I don't get it, do you just want to save the travel time and just not bother or do you want to be free to see other women? It's just x weeks. What happens if you break up for x weeks and then after that time is over she'd rather not get back with you. I know I'd pass on you if you pulled this kind of crap on me.
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  • larock

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    2012-03-22 10-22-59

    same here. That is total bullshit.
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  • sudderth

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    2012-06-27 22-18-57

    Or in the same house at that... +x
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  • Jock

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    2012-08-17 4-57-06-

    still wondering...WHY do you want to break up for x weeks? i get the all-or-nothing thing. but nohere is a psychic--"reading between the lines" we shouldn't have to do. if you are looking for truly subjective advice, you need to put it all out there. making folks guess at what you're wanting advice about will only irritate the fo and confuse you more. what is the whole story here..?
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    boulette

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    2012-10-30 8-29-56-

    we wuz mean to her and she done left, I think
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    saam

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    2012-12-17 15-34-38

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    limehouse

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    2013-02-03 15-09-42

    We're mind readers now. Didn't you get the memo?
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  • holloway

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    2013-03-11 22-01-21

    I did but it was x somewhere and I forgot how to read.
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    caradonna

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    2013-03-16 4-41-42-

    its does kind of seem like everyone jumped down her throat a bit...
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  • colier

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    2013-04-05 9-20-36-

    I remember when I remember when I didnt see my partner for weeks at a time. Every other weekend if we were lucky. And now we live together! It was so hard for us...wanting to be with each other forever and all the time...our cell phone bills were ridiculous. Many times we thought we should end it b/c of the distance between us. Now I'm glad we didn't. Give sticking it out a try...might work out for the best
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    herbison

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    2013-06-01 20-39-34

    Yeah, explain the x-week break As far as I can read, you never really explianed that/ Spell it out for us?
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