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Pages: your thoughts [1]
Author Topic: Your thoughts
jamil

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Posts: 2

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2011-02-08 11-00-57

your thoughts I am debating on whether or not I should post a personal ad or not, on tangowire or somesuch. After visiting my old town and speaking with my ex, who is 6 months into a new serious relationship (!), I realized that it really is time for me to get involved with somebody. I would love to have somebody to connect with and spend time with. The problem is, though, I am so very busy and so very broke. I seriously don't even know when I would have time to do something or hang out. And if I DID have time to hang out, I would need to do cool free things, which are abundant in Chicago summer btw. I work 40 hours a week, take up to 12 credit hours of grad school, and try my best to work out when I can, at least twice a week, more if I have time. So is it stupid of me to post a personal ad? Or should I just ride the wave of this crazy busy time in my life, and leave it up to fate to meet somebody new? I know it's good to just concentrate on my goals right now and stay focused, but I really miss having someone in my life. I know this is a stupid thing to get advice on, but whatever, I would still appreciate anyone's thoughts, stories, etc.. ps good morning! :)
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shirlee

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-10 22-11-49

sounds overwhelming. You wouldn't want to start a relationship if you don't even have time for it, but dating and having fun are great ways to overcome the stress of your schedule Ads are not the greatest way because they turn the 'getting to know you' part into a bussiness deal. They also exclude everyone who doesn't use ads, so you have an even more limited pool. It seems like your school might have some opportunities to meet people. My university hosts lots of events for students to mingle.
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  • elders

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    Posts: 16

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    2011-02-12 14-48-50

    My 2 cents or whatever this is worth. Ads, bars and blind dates have only ever led in the best cases to sex but never relationships. Nothing wrong with that and that is not saying it wouldn't work for you. I find that doing what I believe in has led to good friends and long term relationship. Met my late wife through my son. (NOT that I am recommending ren as babe bait!) Met my current gf volunteering with Habitat, gf protesting war and another playing volleyball. The important thing is to get out there.
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  • heiberger

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    2011-02-16 3-11-55-

    for you, maybe I met a girlfriend for a 10-year relationship in a sex club (yes, I understand the irony) I met another girlfriend for a 2 year relationship through the personals I met my current girlfriend for a 2+ year relationship also through the personals. I also met a lot of fuck-buddies/ night stands, but it's more than possible to meet someone through personal ads and sex spaces. Though I agree with the premise that you'll meet people more organiy doing stuff in the world, if I had to wait to "run across" a butch in Los Angeles the organic way, I would never have met my last girlfriends.
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    bercier

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    2011-02-21 9-16-20-

    Ads work for some that is how I met my husband, we've been together 7 years now and married for 6.
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    shira

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 2

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    2011-02-25 7-24-20-

    most of us aren't looking for a husband though.
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    Clemence

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    2011-03-26 23-56-15

    True but it can work both ways. :) My point was that anyone can find love online.
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    philip

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    Posts: 15

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    2011-06-02 4-40-50-

    Hope you're still reading this thread... because I can't help but reply. It seems to me that dating in any form is all about perspective. For that matter, putting yourself "out there" to meet new people is all about perspective. I say, "Go for it." But don't go into it with the intent of "getting involved with somebody." Post a personal ad, join some kind of local socializing club, or take the occasional trip to the local bar. Do these things with the intent of meeting new people. If you're lucky, you'll make some good friends. If you're really lucky and when you're really ready (as opposed to just thinking you SHOULD be ready), you may find somebody with whom you connect intimiately and with whom you enjoy spending time. I don't think this is a stupid idea at all, provided you use some basic common sense (like not posting personally identifying info or going home with the first stranger that buys you a drink). If time and money are factors, stick to email and phone s until you can get yourself together enough to venture out. With some judicious conversation, you'll be able to tell a lot about the person before either of you lays eyes on each other. Mind you, somebody that "sounds" great may eventually reveal herself to be anything BUT, and here we find ourselves at my original point. Keep your perspective on the situation in check, and you can hardly go wrong. Meet new people, make new friends. And most of all, put yourself first, and don't "settle" for anything.
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    witkowski

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