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Pages: I am happy, but it's bittersweet. [1]
Author Topic: I am happy, but it's bittersweet.

Posts: 1

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2011-02-08 13-22-19

I am happy, but it's bittersweet. I'm venting and exposing a lot so please be nice. So, I recently was offered the job of my dreams! Very excited. I tell both of my parents and my mom always wants more for me like "are there benefits? will you be making enough? when do you start? how quickly can you move up? why aren't you moving up RIGHT NOW?" My father could care, but for the past year he can only talk about how gay I am and how gay I shouldn't be. I have given him plenty of chances over the past year to come out of his "I hate gays" shell. Every time it's step forward, steps back (more like 12 steps back). I am currently working part time jobs. I can drop, no prob and the other I wanted to keep on because I love the people and the company, but mainly, I freaking adore my manager. Here's the thing that makes me feel insane. Since I started, my manager has been very helpful with training and very understanding. He helped me with a car purchace (through work, not outside of work). He'll treat me like a daughter rather than an employee. All of this and he's like a splitting image of my father and is like how my father would be if he was a nice, caring, rational person. How I wish my father could be. Kind of taken me under his wing and everything. When I told him about the other job he said key phrase that I just wanted to hear from either of my parents. He said, "That's wonderful, I'm really proud of you, and I'm always for people bettering themselves. I'm sad to see you go, especially since you were doing so well, but good luck." I left work almost in tears because I realized that even when I tell my parents, it's not sincere. My mom's expectations are insane and my father would rather me be a pregnant crack addict stripper slut with twelve bastard ren than to see me gay. I cried so hard after I left work and it was SO STUPID. I'm going to miss those people like crazy. But that manager filled a 23 year old void in my life for a positive male figure. I know I am so PMSing right now but it still breaks my heart. This job was the pick me up from a previous burn. It helped me build back my esteem and my "sanity". I'm sad to go so soon, but when opportunity knocks, take it. Not sure what I was expecting to hear on this. Just had to get it out.
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Posts: 3

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2011-02-10 9-54-41-

Enjoy the sweet, and try to let the bitter go. Sorry about your folks, but at least you have the good experience with your manager. Focus on that, and try not to drive yourself crazy trying to figure out your parents. They may change in time, they may not - but sadly, there's nothing you can do about that.
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2011-02-12 1-09-26-

It's true And I feel so petty, but :( Sometimes I just let it get to me. The good thing is that my girlfriend is teaching me that I can be happy, even though they try to bring me down. I have to remember that they built their happiness just like I'm building mine. Thanks for the help!
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2011-02-12 20-24-05

look for a way to keep in touch with your ex-boss. He sounds like a good 'un. Why not invite him and his partner(?) round for a meal sometime?
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2011-02-15 1-15-34-

Someone on the fo once said.... "You cannot get oranges from the hardware store." For some reason that resonated with me, and to me it means that if you go looking for something where you know it can't be found, you will only be disappointed. It's your parents loss that they can't enjoy who you are. It's not you - it's them. Keep trying to be happy.
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2011-02-24 0-19-01-

Also true So I'm thinking that's the best way it's been put so far. But it's so hard to come across good people in this world. It's like I want to hold on since they're few and far between.
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  • goldblatt

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    2011-03-24 6-45-54-

    Kurrsti, first off; well done and congratulations on your new job. Coming from a mentoring position, I have to tell you how satisfying it is to see people around you begin to reach for their potential. It makes me feel like I have made a difference in that persons life. He is gald to see you prosper. Coming from who has been mentored, it has been important to keep those that have been instrumental in my life by maintaining that connection. I still talk with my boss from my first real job once a year or so. He was instrumental in my development and I still hear alot of his words ring in my ears throughout my work week.... "work smarter not harder", "every no brings you close to a yes", "plan your work and work your plan"... That goes with you and is yours to keep. About your Mom and Dad, at some point you gotta just let them go and find your own way. For years I tried to make mine happy, to be good enough, to make them proud of me. I never accomplished what they expected for me. With some good therapy, I discovered that I am good enough, I am a success and I am the only person I really have to answer to. Then my relationship with them shifted because I no longer needed their approval. It also allowed me to love them more freely because I accepted that was just who they are and I could let go of their expectations of me. It sounds like you are suffering "growing pains", that's a good thing! ;-) Good luck.
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    2011-03-27 5-11-35-

    Thank you. All of this is helpful. Thank you for your input. I'm glad to know it's supposed to be a pain. :)
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    2011-03-30 6-00-31-

    stay in touch I too would suggest attempting to stay in touch with your manager. And I think it would be easy enough to tell him you don't know what the boundaries need to be - and see what he thinks too. Maybe just email or whatever but this guy could possibly be a good reference in the future if you stay in touch. Keep doing what you need to do and be proud of yourself. Your parents might surprise you someday. I never got what I thought I needed from mine either but the older I get the less I tried and now have a good relationship with them. It took a long time though and me standing true to myself. Congrats on the job of your dreams!
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